Are you there God? It’s me, Barfbag McAchesalot.

So I got the flu yesterday.  In case you have forgotten, it is TERRIBLE!  As a mother of three, I have said many times that I would do anything to just lay around and do nothing for one day…but I take that back.  I would do anything, other than have the flu, to lay around and do nothing for one day.  The only upside to the flu that I can see is that it is the closest a man will ever come to experiencing labour…and well, that’s just plain amusing.

Anyway, the night before I got sick, I was working away on these blankets I’ve been trying to finish.  They’ve been taking forever because, quite frankly, I will do anything to get out of working on them, including but not limited to, starting a blog.  So two nights ago, I’m sitting there, working away and I actually said to Chris, “I am so sick of working on these blankets that I literally feel nauseous.”

Later that night I would come to know the true meaning of nausea.

Anyhow, the blankets came in handy the following day when I was overrun by chills.  Here they are, since I know you’re just dying to see them.

I had never actually crocheted anything before, but I learned how on youtube.  Who knew?  I highly recommend looking there if you’re interested in crocheting anything.  Then go to Google Maps and do a search for, “closest insane asylum” because that’s what crocheting a blanket will drive you to – you might as well have clear directions.  Anyway, they came together quite nicely, even though my early excitement turned into crushing dread at the thought of looking at them.  Push through, that’s what I always say.

I made the blankets in the first place, because we had a really nice couch blanket that was just a little too short to share, so there were endless fights over who got “de bwane-tee.”  Also, that beautiful blanket has since been demolished by juice, snot and who knows what else.  Anyway, I thought it would be nice for the girls to each have a couch blanket of their own.  Here’s what happened when I presented them with the fruits of my hours of labour:

I hate having a hooker for a mom!

Yep.  I literally had to force them to use the blankets for like 2 seconds and yes, Ruby has half a hot dog sticking out of her mouth.  Angels, aren’t they?

How I managed to convince myself that a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old could be excited to receive a blanket  is beyond me.  So I’m posting it here in hopes that someone will appreciate it.

Anyway, the flu had it’s way with me and left this morning.  No sign he was ever even here.  Didn’t even leave a note or anything.  Flus these days.  Sheesh.

Here’s hoping you can escape this flu season unscathed.  Now go wash your hands, take some echinacea and get hooking your own blanket…if…you…dare!  (Those last three words should be read in a scary voice).

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6 thoughts on “Are you there God? It’s me, Barfbag McAchesalot.

  1. I am in the midst of crocheting a blanket for Emily. I swear I’ve been working on it since I found out I was pregnant and can’t seem to manage the strength to finish it. I can’t believe you made two.

    1. You also made a blanket for Ben, so that’s two for you too. It suuuuuucks! The only reason I finished is because they are aware enough to know what I was working on…you don’t even have guilt in your corner! If you don’t finish it, I will for you when I come visit.

  2. I was planning on posting about the blankets I crocheted for the girls, but yours look better so I’ll have to think about it more, hahaha. I’m in the middle of one for the mister, but it’s been soooo hard to convince myself to finish it. Argh.

    1. Abandon ship! I will NEVER crochet another blanket again. I really believe that the route of the word “crotchety” (as in crotchety old lady), is crochet. Also, my blankets don’t look that good in person…it’s the camera. And also, Emma barfed on it last night. Really ruined the esthetic appeal.

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